Archive for the ‘Pay Your Toll’ Category

Questions I

Sunday, March 21st, 2010

What does the average person think about when they think about this life…?

How much does armageddon pass through someones head during a days time?  How often does your average person think of the year 2012 and what it might bring?  How often does the average person stare at the sky and think about what else is out there and what our purpose may be?  Do people wonder if we have a purpose?  Does the average person believe that they have a purpose?  Are more people content with their day to day or do more people think of where they are suppose to be?  Do people stare at rooftops as I do and want to sit and stare at the stars on a summers night?  Do people cry at funerals because someone is dead, because they will never see this person again, speak to this person again, because they have been molded to cry?  What about the people that hold back their tears at funerals..  why do they do that?  What about the people that have no tears to hold back at a funeral…  are they cold.. or do they simply accept that death is apart of this life?  How many people have read the bible from cover to cover?  Why did they do it?  How many near death experiences do you have to have before you separate blessed from lucky?  Do most people see ugly or beauty in people?  Do most people wait to speak or do they listen?  Do most people compromise and/or settle in relationships?  Does the majority believe in perfection?  Do you believe that perfection can just simply be being in love with someones flaws?  Do people have more opinions than assumptions or vice verse?  What’s better…  blissful ignorance or tormenting knowledge?  If karma was a person… what would her name be.. what would she look like… would she indeed be a “she?”   How many people stare at the colors around them because they are afraid that if they do not appreciate that their site may be taken away… and the same with the other senses?  Are there excuses for racism?  Mother nature has fires, tornadoes, earthquakes, etc. to cleanse the earth and to keeps it’s cycle…  We are apart of nature…  When we cry, scream, get angry, laugh uncontrollably, etc., are we doing the same?  Do fat people really think that they are beautiful or do they just say it because they feel they have no other options?  If 80% of homosexuals were sexually molested..   then…  ok, too many questions.   Does everyone have common sense if it doesn’t seem very common?  If beauty is in the eye of the beholder…  is love in the heart of the loving?  Is love open to interpretation? 

D.V. Deathstoll

Waters of the Deep

Sunday, March 21st, 2010

Need to be taken back to the place where my mind was at ease.  Taken back before self-destruction… before I lose the new me.  Temporary pleasantries have given me a false sense of security in my sick mind.  Knowing that I have demons that lurk isn’t a problem.  Lurking demons do no harm…  it’s when they speak that I lose control.  Like company only feeds into the thought that I am indeed losing it again and I know that they’re watching, waiting for me to slip.  Let me poison my skin with ink to mask the pain with pleasurable colors…  colors pleasuring.  Let me sing only to destroy my voice, not for the sake of art.  Let me write to bleed my eyes, not for your ears.  I always stood still and excepted the curse…   I recently started walking in a direction of the end, instead of standing content in my insanity, but I have plateaued and am lost with no direction.  I stare at my scars and smile, letting them take me back to a time where I knew what I was.  I hold my scars in comfort like a child with their teddy bear…     The torcher of “give and take” was too much on my sensitive soul and now my life reaps even what was never really sewn.  There was never one to show me how…  I learned what I know my purely experiencing pain and not excepting the answers that sat in front of me.  Maybe it was that simple..  maybe those answers that lie in front of us are really just that simple.  My thirst for knowledge and wisdom isn’t my biggest flaw…   it’s the knowledge and wisdom that I’ve gained that is killing me.  So I hold my scars close on a rainy day, I stare out of a window and listen to mans seconds pass with every rain drop tapping the bottom of a gutter.  It’s not about obtaining the unattainable, it’s about knowing that it exists.

Demitri V. Deathstoll

Scripts

Friday, March 12th, 2010

To come back to reality after a day filled with no resolution has got to be nothing but overwhelming.  Tell me what I do with this confusion…   What I do with this hesitation to be nothing more than another statistic on meds of the living dead.  Lying in the arms of the contentment created by a potion created by non other than who you sought assistance.  Did I find who I was… do I find who I am with the aftertaste of your packed powder… no… I find who you want me to be.   I will find me.

D.V. Deathstoll

Flipping Coins and Birds at The Makers Toll Booth

Friday, March 12th, 2010

The sky spells the end, as I can see heavens pathway and it’s lit by an orange, cloudy sky,

Left in wonder from the days events,

Lifes certain happenings.

Wondering “how” and “why”

Long pants and a sweatshirt to sweat out the poison of pain…   I bask in the scorching sun,

Find no answers in the eyes of the mirror as this day tries to be done.

What’s so wrong with loving flaws?

…What’s so wrong with you..ha!

-Manipulated-

-Deviated-

All that happens to you.

So now I’ll dance in the nights sky looking for moonlit answers written on nothing!

…I will insomniate my world away…

-D.V. Deathstoll

Today’s Toll

Friday, March 12th, 2010

If pain is an illusion, then what is the story behind fate?  What reminds me that I am alive?  Does it take something deep inside to convince me to live…   or does it take something horrible to kill me?

D.V. Deathstoll